Creating your wedding party is not only meant to be a fun part of the journey, but it’s a crucial part of the planning process and a decision that shouldn’t be taken lightly!
An honor reserved only for your closest family and friends; your groomsmen are chosen to stand by your side for the day, and in your wedding photos for eternity!
But how many groomsmen should you have? Is there such a thing as too many? But what if I don’t want any at all?
Here, you’ll find everything you need to know about picking your groomsmen and how many you should consider for your big day.
Best Man is Not the Same as a Groomsman, Right?
Correct! Typically, a groom will ask his closest friend, brother, or even father to be his best man. He will have important duties on the day, including taking charge of the groomsmen.
The groom will usually ask other male relatives or friends to stand as his groomsmen at the wedding. They will be given responsibilities too, but slightly different from the best man.
How Many Groomsmen is Normal?
This is a tough one to answer because there isn’t a ‘normal’ amount of groomsmen to have. It kinda depends on the size of your wedding, but it is ultimately a personal choice.
An average wedding has anywhere between 3 and 6, but it really is up to you to think carefully about who in your life might be good for this role.
So How Do I Decide Who to Pick?
This can be tricky! You don’t want to offend anyone by missing them out, but you also don’t want to pick anyone who is unreliable… it can be a bit of a minefield.
Firstly, think about the most significant people in your life, the ones you can trust and rely on, the ones that have been there for you when you needed them most, the ones that you really do WANT by your side on your wedding day!
Think also about what kind of support you will need on the day itself and in the run-up to the wedding. Who from your friendship groups and family would be the best at giving you this support?
What Kind of Tasks Will I Give My Groomsmen?
Thinking about the kind of tasks your groomsmen will be set may help you decide who you want by your side. Matching personalities to these duties should give you added food for thought.
One friend may be ideally suited to helping the best man with the bachelor party or assisting with the organization of the wedding shower or rehearsal dinner.
Another might be just the one you need to keep you calm when you’re getting ready in the morning.
Perhaps you have a charismatic friend who would be wonderful at helping guests find their seats and answering questions about the venue.
You may even be the perfect guy to play the Master of Ceremonies during the dinner… there are plenty of potential roles!
What If I’d Like My Female Friends to Have a Role?
Traditionally, women are bridesmaids and men are groomsmen; however, you may have a sister or close female friend that you would love to give a wedding day role to.
In this day and age, we say anything goes! If you have close female friends, why not ask them to be a groomswoman? Or perhaps a groomsperson?
What About Ushers?
While ushers are typically male too, the main difference between them and the groomsmen is that ushers sit in the pews during the ceremony, instead of standing upfront with the groom.
The usher’s main role is to keep things moving on the day, making sure everyone is seated on time, and that people move from different locations according to the schedule – literally ushering your guests around.
You could certainly have your groomsmen double up as ushers for efficiency!
Doesn’t the Wedding Party Have to be Even?
When thinking about how many groomsmen you want, do not get concerned about matching with the bridal party!
Some couples get it into their heads that the wedding party needs to be exactly even in number on both sides. Sure, it makes for a wedding photographer’s dream, but a perfectly balanced photo REALLY doesn’t matter!
Imagine if your friend found out they were selected because they would ‘make the numbers even’! That is not cool!
Do I Have to Pick the Men I Was Groomsman for?
Now this point can be controversial…
Just because you stood by someone’s side as a best man or groomsman at their wedding, it does NOT mean that you need to pick them for yours.
Things change. Friendships change. Try not to feel guilty about this – the truth is they probably wouldn’t want or expect to be in your groomsmen’s party if you have drifted apart, and they will understand.
More Groomsmen Equals More Money!
We LOVE a larger wedding party but bear in mind that the more people you choose to be in it, the more money you are likely to spend.
You may end up buying or renting each suit and even the shoes. You may want to buy a gift for each groomsman too which could get pricey.
Also consider that there may be an expectation of receiving a plus-1, even if you may not know their partner well.
Consider Assigning Roles to Non-Groomsmen
If you have a few friends or family members that you are on the fence about, then you can always invite them to be part of the wedding day in a different way. This way, they’ll feel more special than just a regular guest.
Roles could include performing a reading during the ceremony, making a short toast, or asking them to look after an elderly relative that may need checking in on.
If you have a close friend that has a particular skill – singing, baking, calligraphy, creative writing – you could always encourage them to get creative and bake your cake/ sing a song/ write your name cards, etc. Just make sure you and your partner trust them enough to deliver something top-notch!
Even a shout-out or mention in your speech would make them feel the love too!
We truly hope this has helped you to decide how many groomsmen you should have in your wedding party! Now you can get asking and delegating… enjoy!