It’s no secret that planning a wedding can complicate things; not including all of the moving logistical pieces!
When it comes to planning the roles for the people in your bridal party, it can get particularly tricky! With bridesmaids, flower girls, and the privileged Maid of Honor position to think about, a bride’s work has only just begun!
But do you have to have a Maid of Honor? What’s the point of having a MOH? And what are you supposed to do if you don’t have (or straight up don’t want) one?
We’ll be exploring the ins and outs of navigating the Maid of Honor title from a bride’s perspective, and whatever you decide, hopefully, we can give you some clarity!
What Are a Maid of Honor’s Responsibilities?
You’ll need to lean on someone you trust to make responsible decisions, help you plan events, and generally stay organized and not drop the ball!
This role is typically given to the Maid of Honor, who will usually plan events, as well as help delegate tasks to bridesmaids so you don’t have to be bogged down by those details.
Typically the Maid of Honor is responsible for the aforementioned obligations, and then some: the list includes duties such as:
– planning the bachelorette party and all of the logistics involved.
– planning the bridal shower with the bride’s mother or aunts
– leading the bridal party and making sure the bridesmaid dresses are ordered promptly (this is a big one!)
– serving as a point person on the big day so the bride isn’t constantly being interrupted or bothered by guests, vendors, or even the groom!
– writing and giving an unforgettable speech
– lending a helping hand (and/or ear) to the bride leading up to the wedding
– and much, much more!
Not to mention all the ceremonial duties on the actual wedding day! The list can be exhaustive.
It all depends on the bride and what she’s hoping to achieve on the most important day of her life.
What’s the Point of Having a Maid of Honor?
Wedding traditions stand the test of time, but it doesn’t always mean that they should be applied or enforced at every wedding.
Many bridal parties will have a designated “Maid of Honor” role that carries responsibilities outside of simply being a bridesmaid.
For some brides, the Maid of Honor is her sister, bestie, or just someone with whom they have a super close, confidant-esque relationship. This person will be your bridal ride-or-die when it comes to staying on top of all the moving parts!
The role is important, and it’s definitely a point “of honor” to be asked to be a bride’s Maid of Honor. Fundamentally, this person will act as your sister-in-arms (maybe literally!) for the entire wedding planning adventure! So choose wisely, if you’re considering asking.
Is Having a Maid of Honor Necessary?
The most important thing for you to consider is the bulk of what needs to be done, especially on the bridal side.
If you’re having a smaller wedding and an intimate wedding party, you may not feel like you need an extra hand to get everything done.
Ultimately, the Maid of Honor is a distinguished role that is meant for someone special who you trust to make sure your bridal experience goes as smoothly as possible- the less stressed you are, the better!
It’s absolutely ok to feel like that role is not necessary for your unique wedding. What’s most important is that you can offload some of the more minor details to the wedding party that you do have, or a friend or family member who can step up and help you out.
What To Do If You Don’t Have a Maid of Honor
If you’re considering not having a Maid of Honor, don’t worry! You’re not alone- there are plenty of brides who go this route and are perfectly happy with the outcome of the big day.
Not everybody has a sister or a friend in mind that can fill that particular role, and that’s just the way the cookie crumbles! You could also be lucky enough to have a sister and a best friend who can fill that important role… but you don’t want to (or simply can’t) choose.
Conversely, you might find yourself in a situation where you come from a family of five sisters, and don’t want to upset any family dynamics by choosing one sister over another.
Another situation: let’s say you’ve got two childhood best friends; choosing between them may be difficult. Understandably, you may not want to cause any hurt feelings or resentment.
If you are considering having two or three bridesmaids of equal status, the best advice we have for you is to delegate specific tasks to each of them. For example, one bridesmaid can take over the planning for a bachelorette party, and another can take the lead for the bridal shower. Just keep them busy (you’ll thank us later.)
Bottom line: At the end of the day, you’ll just be so glad to have a team who can jump in to help you and the groom shoulder all the wedding craziness.
Whether or not you decide to have a designated Maid of Honor role, just be sure to delegate tasks to those you can rely on!
After all, in the timeless words of Dionne Warwick, “that’s what friends are for!”